By Meghan McCarthy
Editor’s Note: This article is part of the Disability and Dementia Series, an ongoing project highlighting the experiences of individuals with intellectual disabilities who are affected by Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias (ADRDs).
“Take her home and love her.”
That was the advice Ellen Boyle’s parents received the day she was born, a simple but radical directive in 1965. Ellen had just been diagnosed with Down syndrome (DS), and in a time when institutionalization was often recommended, one pediatrician offered a different path. Take her home. Love her.
And they did.
A Sunday Birth
Ellen was born on a Sunday to an Irish Catholic family in New Jersey. Her father, Jack, worked as a sheet metal foreman in Newark. Her mother, Eleanor, had three older children—Mary, Jane, and John—when she became pregnant at 39.
After Eleanor gave birth, Jack arrived at the hospital and was met with silence. The obstetrician wouldn’t explain what had happened, and fear took hold. In a moment of grace, he crossed paths with the family’s pediatrician, who went to find answers.
“She has Down syndrome,” the pediatrician eventually told him. “People will give you all kinds of advice. You can run around creation and get all kinds of opinions. But my advice? Take her home and love her.”