By Alison Lynn, PMC associate director of social work
“Stephanie” was hyper-focused on providing the best possible care for her husband, who had been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease – not just any regimen would do. He had a special place setting at the table, adaptive clothing, and a bin of products for sensory stimulation. When he asked the same question multiple times in a row, she took deep breaths so she could answer the same way every time without losing her temper, and she budgeted twice the time it usually took them to get out of the house so she didn’t have to rush him. As a former executive, she was used to tackling problems like this. And by all accounts, she was excelling in her role as her husband’s caregiver.
However, on the inside, Stephanie vacillated between feeling empty and overwhelmed with emotion. If she ate a meal at all, she had leftovers while standing over the sink. She canceled her own medical check-ups and her gym membership. When she lost her temper with her husband, she internally berated herself for being a bad caregiver.